Thursday, September 4, 2008

I Don't Forget Anniversaries

“Memory is what tells a man his wedding anniversary was yesterday”

Today is my marriage anniversary. I have been married for n years (I won’t tell you the value of n as it is a very large number and you will start guessing my age!). Coincidentally, Ambika, my wife, has also been married for the same number of years.

Ambika has been the best thing that has happened to me. If you wonder if she feels the same way, feel free to ask her and I am confident she too will agree that she has been the best thing that has happened to me. I am glad that I fell in love with Ambika over the few other girls I thought I loved. I am told by my women friends that the reason why god created man first and woman second was because he needed to have a rough draft before he made a masterpiece. If one sample couple can prove the hypothesis, look no further.

I met Ambika at a Chartered Accountancy class. I did not want to fall in love then, as I thought that it would be like learning how to cycle – would take a lot of time and would get injured in the process. But to my surprise, it was love at first sight. Then I took a second look. And a third. I have never looked back again. On our first date, like all men, I told her a bunch of lies which got her interested enough to go for future dates.

Being an extraordinarily handsome man, I assumed it my responsibility to marry the perfect woman so that we could produce children beyond comparison. So I immediately decided to marry Ambika. Of course, she decided a lot later. Ambika believed that the poorest people are the happiest. And now that she is married to me, we are the happiest couple. We used to always hold hands after marriage because we wanted to make sure the rings did not fall off since we paid good money for them.

We have been sharing things ever since – we use the same toothpaste though different toothbrushes, the same bath soap though different bath towels, the same dining table though different plates, the same closet though different clothes, the same television though different shows, the same bed…. Sorry, this is a family blog, remember?

All married men contend that marriage is not a word but a sentence. However I don’t agree; I would like to look at it as an ‘investment’ that pays big ‘dividends’ if you manage to keep up the ‘interest’ (from this you would have guessed my profession – yes, I am an accountant). My wife and I always compromise which has been the secret behind our co-existence; I admit that I am wrong and she agrees with me.

We have had a very successful marriage so far, because I practice in my life what I preach at work. I work for an outsourcing company and as a true-blood loyal employee I have outsourced the decision-making process to my wife. She is the boss in our house. I have seen the kind of things she does in the house as part of this job and honestly, I do not want it.

This does not mean that we have not had our rough times, like when I send my wife an SMS ‘I wish you were here’ thinking that it was a smart thing to do, but mistakenly missed the last e in ‘here’, or when I forgot my wife’s birthday. I realized at that time that our marriage can be defined as the alliance of two people; one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them. During the process I found that the best way to remember my wife’s birthday is to forget it thrice. But I cannot ‘remember’ the last time I ‘forgot’ her birthday.

We have stuck together during the good and bad times all these years. Just a note of caution for the readers – families that stick together should bathe more often. We have a little girl amongst us now, our daughter Niharika. The store had run out of the big ones. And even the little one took nine months to download. O that note, the child experts say that men should not have children after 35. It may sound very restrictive, but they say that there is research evidence to support this. 35 children are enough!

Finally, you may ask what the gifts that we exchanged today were. My wife, a wonderful and great lady that she is (no, no, believe me, I am not saying this because of the gift!), gifted me a $1,500 digital SLR camera with multiple lenses and other accessories. And I returned it with an even more costly one – this blog! (because ‘little time is a lot of money’; yes I added additional words, but remember this is my blog?)

PS: If you assume that I was coerced by my wife to write this blog dedicated to her, then you should be married. Oh by the way, didn’t I mention that this is dedicated to her!


Sai said...

Hiii Salil...wish u a very happy wedding Anniversary..

Salil + Ambika =
Extraordinarly handsome guy + Perfect woman

Ace of Spades said...

happy anniversary!!!

your wife should be very happy with this beautiful dedication.

maybe the camera will prompt a photoblog?

Wannabe Deep Shitter said...

wish u a happy anniversary..

hilarious post.. the best part was holding hands not to loose the rings.. oh boy!! rotfl

Unknown said...

Thank you dear for the beautiful dedication. However, both of us are celebrating different wedding days - you just started the celebration when I have actually finished the same:-)

Unny said...

thanks for your comment on Bisleri moments. Yeah, on getting paid - i am looking for the Bisleri Brand manager.

And here is wishing you both a Happy Anniversary.

Coincident as it may seem, today, 5th Sept is our wedding anniversary. And my wife dedicated a blog post(which was kept ready sometime back and triggered to publish this morning as if it is an online banking transaction). So if you read Malayalam, check this out here

If you don't read Malayalam, wait till the English version appears :-)

Anonymous said...

hey there salil,its mere bloody luck that we get a partner of choice..All the best to both of you.

Salil said...

Thank you for your wishes.
And regarding handsome and perfect union, you see, it was my responsibility, as per my good friend Darwin. Soon our progeny will take over the world!

Thank you.
I hope that she is happy too since I have spent so much money on this blog (remember how a little time is so much money?)
I am not sure a photoblog is on its way any soon, because I was overwhelmed by the features of the DSLR. It may take ages for me to get a good command over them.

Thanks for passing by and the wishes.
The ring joke was an old one I had read somewhere. I guess you would have heard the other one which says 'Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering'

Oh my, look who is here at my blog finally! My dear wife!
It is funny that you celebrated the anniversary yesterday (India time) and I celebrate it today (US time) :-)
But I had to hire a wife to celebrate it since you were not here.
And psst psst, nobody has realized that you had to beat me up to make me write this post.

Thank you for your wishes and comment.
Interesting that you also got 'knotted' on Sep 5, teacher’s day in India (That is how I manage to recollect it. I wish my wife was born on Aug 15 or some day like that!)
Of course, I can read malayalam. I will be there soon.

Thank you.
I hope you have heard this : "When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why."

Deepa said...

Happy Anniversary.
Well.. a lovely post for a lovely lady..
Hwy ! Ambika..

Unknown said...

Awww...Dats one sweet blog!

Happy Anniversary Salil and Ambika...May god grant u all pleasures of life!

Nice writing...Beautiful dedication! :)

Wannabe Deep Shitter said...

lol salil.. yeah.. have heard those jokes.. but to put them all together and post in ur blog.. oh man!! u must b brave :D..

every time i get some fwds which implicate girls of all the truths my girlSPACEfriend gives me a miss call and i have to call he back and stay on phone for over 3 hrs just to convince her i dun believe a word of that fwd... :D

Anonymous said...

Best wishes Salil & Ambika.

Salil said...

Thank you for passing by.
You left the sentence incomplete – A lovely post for a lovely lady by a lovely gent.

Thank you for the wishes and compliments (takes a bow)
Ambika has asked god for my share of pleasures too.. :-(

"It is easy to be brave from a safe distance - Aesop"
But let me tell you this, anything that implicate women are only JOKES and nothing else. (psst psst.. my wife has started reading my blogs)

Is that all.. I mean, IS THAT ALL??
You know both of us so well. I thought you will leave some kind, understanding, consoling, words, you unsympathetic married man!

Common student said...

well, since you've been so kind as to visit my blog page and even stay to put in comments, why wait till Feb 30th? It's your anniversary anyways so i'll post the couple tickets to you right away!! Congrats:) and by the way a very Happy wedding anniversary to both of you:)

Gazal said...

it's difficult to list down whats the best part of this blog....i mean the best from the best.

happy anniversary.

btw am blogrolling you.

Salil said...

Your blog was good. You should write more often.
And thank you for the wishes and the tickets. But last time I heard about a couple getting free tickets on their anniversary, it did not have a good ending -
A couple on their anniversary received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, "From...guess who?"
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: "Now you know!"

That is the best comment I have received so far because it had three ‘best’ in the same comment. :-)
Thank you for the wishes and blogrolling (I was steamrolled initially because it took me an hour to find what blogrolling meant)

Anonymous said...

Hi salil and Ambika, belated vivahavarsha asamsagal. Got here through jammy's blog. I couldn't resist reading most of your posts. Must say, you have a way with words. Looking for more.

Unknown said...

wow!! Happy anniversary Salil :). Nice post!

jay said...

Honest confessions... :)

Good read Salil. Accounting and humour... a rare combination!!! Well done.

Ranjani said...

Happy anniversary!!
That was a really fun read- brought a bit of cheer to my Monday morning:)

Anonymous said...

Too bad we cannot guess your age but unfortunately your profile is a spoiler :P
Happy Belated Anniversary to both of you..

Jayashree said...

Salil, that was a very enjoyable read. Happy Anniversary to both you and Ambika. Thank you for stopping by my blog.

sansmerci said...

happy anniversary :) my gift to u is addin u to my blogroll.. very funny blog u got .. love to have a lauf everyday :D

mathew said...

congrats on the special day..i liked it the way you made it humourous in sort of way...wishing you both all the best ahead!!:-)

Salil said...

Valare nandi.
It is my honour to have Jammy’s reader here.
I wish I had a way with more than just words :-)

Thank you.
Hope to see you more often here.

Ah finally, the Kranium himself..
Talking about accounting, you know the person is an accountant if:
10. He lectures the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their processes.
9. He gets all excited on Saturday because he can wear casual clothes to work.
8. He refers to the tomatoes in his garden as deliverables.
7. He finds that he needs PowerPoint to explain what he does for a living.
6. He normally eats out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week
5. He wears gray to work instead of navy blue to make a bold fashion statement.
4. He knows the people at the airport and hotel better than his next door neighbors.
3. He asks his friends to "think out of box" when making Friday night plans.
2. He thinks Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
1. He thinks a "half-day" means leaving work at 5 o'clock.

Thank you for the wishes.
My intend is to bring cheer to all your Monday mornings. But in case you don’t find a new blog one week, you may safely assume that aliens have landed in this part of the world and I am out there fighting to protect human race; unless of course, the aliens abducts me to write such funny blogs in their universe to bring cheer to their Monday mornings.

Thank you.
See, I fooled you. I intentionally put a wrong age in my profile so that I look younger to women readers like you :-)

Thank you for passing by.
Yes, we had a happy anniversary for the first time. I was in US and Ambika was in India. This is like the husband who confessed that the secret behind his successful marriage was that he and his wife dined out twice a week when they would be free of all possible worries in life like children, household, work, etc and partied freely – he on Wednesday and his wife on Friday.

Thank you for the lovely gift.
I have been blogrolled before and it does not hurt :-)

Thank you.
And finally, somebody found the blog ‘humourous in sort of way’. I think now I can start writing books. :-)

Renu said...

I have really enjoyed the post and I find ur writing very interesting, I have to read all the posts:), so I am blog rolling u:)

Renu said...

Forgot to wish u.
wish u a very very happy anniversary !

Anu said...

Thanks for visiting my blog, as that lead me to visit yours and am happy I did that.

You have a flare for writing...:-)

Will keep visiting.

Dimple said...

Happy anniversary

This post was too gud ..keep it up..:)

varu... said...

I know its too late to wish...but then wishes are always welcomed right...happy anniversary:)
and wat a post man..i just loved the way u wrote...God bless u both!!!
and u commented our blog...i hope the promised posts comes in soon:)

Salil said...

Thanks for your compliments and wishes. Remember, it will make me write more. Can you handle it?

Thank you for passing by.
Dont use words like flare, flame, etc (remember, my wife also reads it) :-)
I know you meant, flair. Thanks again.

Thanks. Your comment was too good too. (anything that appreciates the post is a good comment, get the picture?)

Better late than never (but don't get caught!). Thank you for your kind words.

Bhai with Chai said...

:) Belated wishes to both of you!

As for the post - witty! :D
I liked the way it has been composed, perfect punctuations and the like (it is rare these days!)

Just a dedication as a gift?.. and you're still alive? :D

Anonymous said...

>>Men should not have children after 35. 35 children are enough!<<

Belated Happy Anniversary :-)

Anonymous said...

That was very sweet,intimate and a light hearted one..Belated wishes..May you celebrate many many many more happy years of life together..

Salil said...

Thank you for the wishes.

I am sure all of you have heard the ‘a woman without her man’ joke. Another illustration of the importance of punctuation is:
What John read -
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?
What Gloria wrote -
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being
useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

A tip for married men - When you live away from your wife (>1000s of kilometers helps), you can get away with just a dedication as anniversary gift!

Thank you for passing by and the wish.
He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough :-)

Thank you for the wishes.
Better late than never, but never late is better :-)
And wasn’t that one too many? Btw, ‘happy’ did you say?

Pinku said...

awesome post....

Unknown said...

That was a good one:)Hope you had a nice day....

ramesh sanijeeth sadasivam said...

Good writing skill sir. I appreciate. Belated "Happy wedding anniversary". And Advanced "Happy wedding anniversary" for next year and all the years to come.Warm regards and prayers for your daughter Niharika.

Salil said...

Awesome comment :-*

Thank you for stopping by.
You have a good weekend...

Thank you for your kind wishes.
Btw, wedding anniversary wishes are never given in advance. Go figure :-)

Ganges said...

very warmly written! glad to have 'found' your blog :)

my inner world said...

"your blog says dont comment just because i commented on your blog"
and honestly i commented just because your post compelled me to do so which is wonderfully written and is just perfect.
this is how every husband and wife should be like !!

btw this is very hilarious :
"We used to always hold hands after marriage because we wanted to make sure the rings did not fall off since we paid good money for them."

happy belated anniversary!!!

Salil said...

Thank you.
It was actually a very warm day when I wrote it :-)
Oh, and am I glad too that you found your way here?

Thank you for commenting in the right spirit.
‘This is how every husband and wife should be like’ – no comments. My conscience doesn’t let me say yes and my fear doesn’t let me say no :-)

Mampi said...

I know you said one doesnt need to comment even if you left one on their blog. But I must compliment you on this post. It forced me to write a comment. It was a write up with a very smooth development. I could make out some jokes that you had used but the way you incorporated them was really awesome. Enjoyed the whole post thoroughly. Am bookmarking you for later readings. Keep it up.
Happy wedding anniversary to you both.

Anonymous said...

Nice. I've got to visit that store! :D

Salil said...

Thank you for your kind words and the anniversary wishes. And I am honoured for being bookmarked.
Psst psst.. would request you not to remind me about the day till next year. I am trying to forget it :-)

Yeah, you better visit before they increase the prices. They might even have some sale during Diwali/Thanksgiving and Christmas :-) - Vận tải Con thoi said...

Thanks for sharing.
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